


Goin' Once, Goin' Twice, I'm Sold

by LordOfThePoptarts



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Domestic Fluff, EXPLICIT HANDHOLDING, Hanzo Shimada has Anxiety, Idiots in Love, M/M, Married Couple, Mild Sexual Content, One Shot, Retirement, Song fic but not really, Trans Character, Trans Jesse McCree
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-26
Updated: 2019-07-26
Packaged: 2020-07-20 01:28:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,681
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19983778
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LordOfThePoptarts/pseuds/LordOfThePoptarts
Summary: Jesse McCree and Hanzo Shimada work well together, on the battlefield, in bed, and in married life, but maybe it's about time they put down their weapons and let someone else save the world for a while.





	Goin' Once, Goin' Twice, I'm Sold

“I still don’t like it.” Hanzo settled further into his chair and crossed his arms, his frown deepening as the other agents walked out of the room after the mission briefing. “There’s too many risk factors.”

Their target was a business woman named Sophia Martinez, who had recently come onto their radar when her pharmaceutical company, who normally dealt in only very basic pain medications, began new research into studying the inhibition of pain, specifically in trauma based injuries. This wouldn’t have normally tipped them off, but Jesse had spotted a little known alias for Dr. O’ Deorain in the reports and further digging confirmed their fears of the intentions behind the research. 

McCree and Hanzo were to attend a charity auction that they knew Sophia was going to attend. Unfortunately, the main draw of the auction was that it was partially a dating auction, that’s where McCree came in. They’d done extensive research into Sophia’s dating profiles, and didn’t Hanzo feel weird about that, and McCree fit her ideal man to a T. Hanzo was there for backup. The plan was to have McCree get bid on by Sophia, go home with her, and either drug her or wait for her to fall asleep, get the files detailing the research and any contacts, and get out. Simple, easy, except it wasn’t. They didn’t know if she kept the files at home, didn’t know if this was an elaborate trap set up by Talon, didn’t know if--

“Sweetheart.” McCree was frowning. “You’re rabbit-holing.” 

“I am not.” Hanzo said confidently, even though he was.

“Yeah you are, you’ve got that funny little crinkle you get between your eyebrows when you’re worrying too hard about something.” McCree fell into the chair next to him and propped his boots up on the table. “You know what I think.” McCree paused as he reclined further in his chair, “I think you’re jealous.”

“I am not jealous.” Hanzo scoffed and rolled his eyes. He reached over and pushed McCree’s feet off the table throwing the other man a touch off balance as he scrambled to steady himself. McCree gave Hanzo a sheepish smile. “I simply don’t think that sending you in alone to deal with a target we have practically no intel on is solid strategy. The amount of variables is just--”

“Yeah, yeah I hear ya, but consider this.” McCree’s grin was practically blinding as he turned towards Hanzo, giddy as a kid in a candy store. “This might be the only time in my life I get to wear next to nothing on stage and get paid for it.”

Hanzo raised an eyebrow incredulously. “Really, then I suppose that last year’s Christmas party never happened?”

McCree’s eyes widened, then quickly narrowed as he pointed his finger threateningly at Hanzo. “They never proved anything and if they did it was Hana’s fault in the first place.”

Hanzo shook his head and chuckled, smiling for the first time since the briefing started over two hours ago. He pushed his chair over to McCree’s, closing the few feet between them and took his partner’s hand. 

“I worry about you, you know this Jesse.”

“I know, sugar.” McCree’s smile was soft like the sunlight that gently rouses you from sleep on a lazy Sunday afternoon. “It’ll be alright though, not like you won’t be with me almost the whole way, and if something does go wrong.” McCree tapped his ear where his comm would be on a mission. “I’ll be able to let you know in a heartbeat.”

Hanzo sighed and nodded, acquiescing defeat. He fiddled with the ring on McCree’s finger; the one he’d put there only a year ago even though the two of them had been dating for far longer by the time he proposed, much too long if you listened to Genji grumble about how long he’d had to hold onto his engagement present.

(“Five years Hanzo! Five years! You’re going to kill me with anticipation if old age doesn’t take me first.”)

Hanzo shook himself out of the memory. “You’ll come back to me?” 

“Sweetheart.” McCree said lifting their conjoined hands and pressing a feather light kiss to the back of Hanzo’s. “When haven’t I?”

Hanzo was already regretting this and the auction hadn’t even started yet. His neck itched and he felt stiff and confined in the suit that had once made him feel powerful and elite. He hadn’t had to fill a role like this in so long that he felt awkward, out of practice. It was only the intense years of training and countless lessons that the clan had drilled into him that allowed him to keep up the seemingly easy facade and blend in with the other attendees of the auction. 

It had been well over two years since Hanzo was needed on a stealth mission of this caliber. Overwatch had again been legitimized by the UN and a flood of new recruits had joined the ranks, so Hanzo and Jesse had found themselves taking more administrative assignments rather than going into the field. When they had gone into the field, it had been only combat missions, often when they were running short on agents due to injuries or everyone being deployed elsewhere. 

Between the amount of downtime Hanzo found himself with and his marriage to McCree, Hanzo had settled into himself nicely. He liked to think he led a relatively quiet life outside of missions. He found himself falling asleep mid page in a book, or waking up early to surprise McCree with pancakes more often than he ever put on a suit these days. He had grown comfortable, or at least as comfortable as he could, considering he was an active member of a military organization.

Hanzo resisted the urge to tap his foot nervously or glance at the stage again, where the event staff was still setting up. Inside he was a chaotic mess of worries and what ifs. Worry for McCree and for the mission. What if the target didn’t show? What if she was simply a plant and Talon already knew their mission and was just lying in wait to strike, what if...Hanzo sighed into his champagne flute, disguising it as he took a sip. 

He smiled blithely at the woman in front of him, one of the target’s friends he recalled, blather on and on. She wouldn’t dare serve such low quality caviar, and did you see that woman’s dress wasn’t it just horrendous; her husband is cheating on her you know, and isn’t this such a wonderful venue, isn’t the charity this is going to so wonderful, why just this December she donated a thousand dollars to her child’s play, only the best for the Sky Valley Drama club, and isn’t--Hanzo couldn’t take it anymore. The woman clearly hadn’t had a complete thought since conception. 

Hanzo almost cheered as the announcer on stage called everyone to their seats. He politely excused himself from, Linda? Lidia? L something. It was a testament to Hanzo’s anxiety that he couldn’t remember, he hadn’t expected to be so rattled. He made his way to his seat, one row back from Sophia. Just as planned. The auction started on time. Just as planned. They made their way through the various items and spa or vacation packages with people bidding throughout the room. Both Sophia and Hanzo’s arms stayed down at their sides. Just as planned. The dating portion of the auction started with various men and women parading around the stage to many whoops and whistles from the audience. Sophia didn’t bid. Just as planned. 

Then McCree walked on stage. That was not a part of the plan, was all Hanzo could think as he greedily took in the sight of his husband. McCree was shirtless, his recognizable prosthetic had been replaced, he’d trimmed his beard, his hair was mussed in a way that screamed sex even though, in reality, he’d only been waiting backstage. All of this Hanzo noticed and appreciated, but he couldn’t help but focus his attention elsewhere. McCree was in his chaps, which normally wouldn’t have been notable if not for the fact that he wore nothing underneath, nothing except for a skin tight pair of panties, no a thong, and hadn’t Hanzo almost choked when McCree did a little spin revealing that fact. All of Hanzo’s worries vanished, there was no one else in the room, but him and McCree. What he wouldn’t give to go up there and grab Jesse off stage, ravage him, show everyone his hair really looked like after he’d been ridden hard and put away wet, he’d--

Sophia raised her arm and the illusion shattered. The auction was back, the auctioneer going a mile a minute as the price for Jesse climbed higher and higher until only Sophia was left bidding and Hanzo was left with the worst hard on in history. 

The auction ended and Hanzo trailed out with the other guests, only shooting a small glance over his shoulder at Jesse where he was chatting with Sophia up by the stage. Hanzo could hear him clearly through the comm, technically according to the auction rules the “dates” weren’t supposed to start until the next day, but McCree had easily managed to talk his way into getting it started early. 

Hanzo sat in the car, waiting for the indication from McCree that he and Sophia were heading out. He drummed his fingers against the steering wheel as he waited. Sophia and McCree walked out the stage door of the building where the auction took place, both climbing into the back seat of a waiting car. McCree was laughing. Hanzo supposed that was a good sign.

He hated this though, the not knowing. The feeling that something could go wrong at any moment and he was powerless to stop it. In combat, at least, Hanzo could tell where the danger was, he could see how many enemies there were, what weapons they had, their formations and strategy. Here, he was blind. The intel was practically useless and Sophia was a wildcard. He had no way of predicting what would happen, he wasn’t in his perch easily able to watch his husband’s back, and protect him from the danger he didn’t see coming. No, Hanzo was simply stuck following at a distance, clutching the comm like a lifeline, and just waiting. Despite his anxiety, Hanzo managed a chuckle. He supposed Genji was right, marriage had made him soft. 

He turned off onto a side street, several blocks away from the target’s house, she lived on a semi-secluded piece of property, so following her all the way to the house was out of the question. Hanzo would have to walk the rest of the way. Hanzo made it to the house, and McCree and Sophia were still chatting in the living room. They’d talked about various mission strategies, of course, and neither of them were strangers to the concept of sleeping with a target for information, but this was the first time since they were married where it was an option on a mission. Jesse had drugs he could use to knock her out, but they needed to be ingested, and if there wasn’t an opportunity to slip them into a drink or into some food then plan B was...their only other option. Hanzo didn’t like to think of himself as a jealous person, but he’d have a hard time sitting idly by if Plan B went into effect. 

Hanzo had made it onto the grounds at this point, and managed to avoid the various security measures Sophia had installed. The house’s security was practically their only reliable piece of intel on this mission, so at least Hanzo could be thankful for that. 

“Do you want something to drink?” Hanzo breathed out a sigh of relief at Sophia’s question, another thing to be thankful for. 

McCree and Sophia continued in some idle small talk for a while, Sophia’s words becoming audibly slurred as time went on. Hanzo heard her make some excuse about drinking too much and McCree laughed, playing along. Hanzo didn’t know what he was so worried about. McCree could handle himself. He’d already proved that to Hanzo a million times over. Hanzo heard McCree lead Sophia to her room and lay her down. 

“Target’s asleep, heading into the office now.” Hanzo stayed quiet, he was only supposed to speak during an emergency or to confirm mission completion.

It was quiet over the comms for the next few minutes, all Hanzo could hear was the sound of his own breath, in time with Jesse’s, the rustling of papers and the tapping of a keyboard. Hanzo palms were sweating, clenched into tight fists. His whole body was prepared to spring into action at any moment, despite there being no sign of danger. 

Hanzo had never missed the clan after he left. Even in the long years of his self-imposed isolation where he wallowed in alcohol and depression, where he longed for someone to just tell him what to do, tell him who he was.. He never once wished it was the clan telling him that, never once wished for the false-sense of self assuredness that came with being oyabun, never once wished to go back to who he was when he killed his brother. Sometimes though, in times like this, Hanzo wished he could fall back into that cold unfeeling space he once occupied. His anxiety and worry would fade into nothingness until he was simply an empty shell, ready to complete the task before him. 

Almost as soon as he thought it, the image of Jesse’s smile flashed through his mind, the sound of his laugh, his voice when he told Hanzo he loved him, how falling asleep next to him felt like sleeping under a kotatsu, warm and comfortable, how Jesse hated gummy bears but still made Hanzo share everytime just to make him laugh, the sounds he’d make when he straddled Hanzo’s face and Hanzo would flick his tongue just right, and Hanzo did not need to be thinking about that right now. 

“I got it, coming out to you darlin’.” McCree’s voice jolted him out of his thoughts

“Affirmative.” Hanzo said. “I’m waiting outside.”  
Hanzo almost did a double take when McCree left Sophia’s house. In his worry, he’d almost forgotten about the outfit McCree was wearing. Jesse and him didn’t speak as they left the grounds, still focused on the mission, but McCree’s wolfish grin told Hanzo all he needed to know about he well he hid his excitement. 

“You are the worst husband, I don’t know why I married you.” Hanzo said as he rolled his eyes and buckled himself into his seat as he started the car, they still needed to drive to the rendezvous point.

McCree laughed, deep and loud, it reverberated around the car’s interior. “You’re just saying that cause you didn’t get to keep me all to yourself.” Jesse smiled and wiggled in his seat, a poor attempt at dancing. “You know you want me!” Hanzo snorted and just shook his head at McCree’s antics, smiling even though he was still obviously tense. McCree grabbed Hanzo’s hand where it rested on the gear shift, and gave it a small squeeze. A silent affirmation, a non-verbal I’m okay. Hanzo felt himself finally relax.

“You know,” McCree said, shattering the silence in the car. They’d been driving in silence for almost thirty minutes, they were almost to the rendevous point. “I’ve been thinking, maybe I should retire.”

Hanzo couldn’t help himself, he burst out laughing, and quickly pulled to the side of the road so they wouldn’t crash.

“What?” McCree shot him a confused look. “What’s so funny? I’m serious.”

Hanzo’s laughter finally died down and he smiled at McCree wearily. “I was not laughing at you, anata.” He stroked his thumb across Jesse’s knuckles. “It’s just that Genji has been pestering me to tell you the exact same thing for over a month now.”

Now it was Jesse’s turn to laugh, he leaned across the center console to rest his head against Hanzo’s shoulder. His whole body shook and a few hiccups made themselves known peppered in amongst his laughter. 

Jesse’s laughter died down and he made himself comfortable on Hanzo’s shoulder, and Hanzo pulled back onto the road and started driving again.

“Angela’s been badgering me about it for just as long. Threatened to tell you herself if I didn’t get my ass in gear by the end of this mission.”

Hanzo thought for a moment, “I bet it was Zenyatta who set those two on us in the first place.”

“Probably those three are always in cahoots.” 

Hanzo chuckled and looked at McCree quickly seeing that his face was serious. “Cahoots? Really?”

“Yes, cahoots, it’s a good word. I’m an old man now, I’m gonna retire, I’m allowed to use old man words.”

Hanzo hummed in affirmation, lifting their entwined hands and placing a gentle kiss on the back of Jesse’s. “You’re my old man though.”

“Damn straight I better be, don’t know no one else I’d wear a damn thong for, been fighting a wedgie for half of the night.”

Hanzo didn’t stop laughing until they reached the rendezvous point.

The next morning, more like next afternoon, was quiet, the two had come back late from their mission and made the executive decision to sleep in. Hanzo was sitting up in bed, reading a romance novel on his tablet, occasionally reading some of the more egregious parts of the narrative out loud to McCree who sat next to him lazily tracing Hanzo’s tattoo and slowly nursing a cup of coffee. 

Hanzo shut off his tablet, done with it for now, and slid further under the covers, turning to face McCree. “Were you serious?”

“About what? Retiring?” Jesse stopped tracing the tattoo and turned to look at Hanzo. “Yeah, if you are.”

“It feels strange to even be considering it.” Hanzo replied and Jesse hummed in affirmation. They both knew what the other meant, how they both didn’t think they’d ever even reach this moment, here together in this bed. How they’d both been fighting for so long that they didn’t think they’d ever get to stop. How even now, when they were discussing retirement, each moment they spent together felt like a luxury that could be snatched away at any moment. 

“I was thinking we could settle down somewhere, I’ve had enough travelin’ for awhile.” McCree pulled Hanzo closer until there was almost no space between them, another silent affirmation, another non verbal we’re okay.

“Where were you thinking?” Hanzo sighed happily, relaxing into the other’s embrace, giving Jesse a small smile. 

“I don’t know, not a city, but not to far out I don’t think, far enough out to where it ain’t too claustrophobic but close enough so you can still run into town and go to all those farmer’s markets you like.” 

Hanzo rolled his eyes and lightly hit Jesse’s chest. “Don’t pretend you don’t like them as well, from the amount of times you’ve begged me to go I’d say you like them more than me.” Jesse blushed. 

“I’d like to have space for a garden, maybe get a dog.” Hanzo continued.

“Definitely get a dog, two even.” McCree smiled knowingly at his partner. He couldn’t even count the amount of times he’d had to stop Hanzo from bringing strays back to base. 

“Three dogs.” McCree couldn’t help but chuckle at the earnest expression on Hanzo’s face, stealing a quick kiss, pulling back before either of them tried to take it further. 

McCree snuck his hand into Hanzo’s. “Ok, room for three dogs, a garden, and have it be a nice distance from whatever town we end up in. Sounds like a game plan, darlin’.” He paused for a moment, before smothering his smile behind their conjoined hands. “I’m really happy right now, sugar.”

“I am too, Jesse.” Hanzo didn’t think he’d stopped smiling since they’d both decided on retirement. He moved their hands, stealing another kiss, but this time allowing it to linger, soft and slow and sweet. The moment was broken when neither of them could stop smiling enough to continue.

McCree stretched his arms, making to stand. “Think we better get up and tell everybody. No use putting off the paperwork.” Hanzo pulled him back down to the bed, not letting him get back up.

“Stay,” Hanzo said, frowning slightly. “At least for an hour, I want to put off Genji’s ‘I told you so’ as long as possible.” He wrinkled his nose at the thought of his brother’s face. Genji always did love being right. 

McCree hummed, pretending to think it over, as he relaxed back onto the bed. He leaned in close to Hanzo’s face, their lips almost brushing. “Might need some convincing, sugar, I’m awful ready to retire”

Hanzo smiled and flipped the two of them over, stealing a kiss from McCree, this one not at all soft, or sweet, or slow, he bit Jesse’s lip teasingly as he pulled away.

“Well why don’t I give you a taste of what retirement feels like.” Hanzo pressed a kiss just behind Jesse’s ear, lightly nipping at the sensitive flesh. “A sneak preview.” He kissed lower, taking his time to bite and suck until a hickey formed at the column of Jesse’s throat. Jesse exhaled shakily. “Just enough to tide you over, you never know how long paperwork can take.” Hanzo continued lower, raining kisses up and down Jesse’s torso, stopping just shy of the dusky nipple Jesse was trying so desperately to lead to his mouth. Hanzo raised himself back up to look at his husband, his love, his everything and smirked, knowing he’d gotten exactly what he wanted. “Does that sound good, Jesse?”

Jesse just pulled him back down, muffling Hanzo’s laughter with a kiss. He’d waited this long to retire, a few more hours couldn’t hurt, especially when his husband was so persuasive. 

**Author's Note:**

> S/O to the discord for enabling me, appreciate y'all. This was supposed to be a fic based on Sold (The Grundy County Auction Incident) and well there sure is an auction in it. This very much got away from me but I enjoyed myself so that's what matters.


End file.
